My coaching journey
When I first embarked on my coaching certification journey, I assumed that since I’ve always been quite good with people, it is going to be just a matter of fine-tuning some of my skills to become a great coach.
Our first class was eye-opening. I had to realize, that not only my questioning was vague, but my listening was also compromised.
I came to appreciate that strengthening my natural tendencies is not going to be enough.
If I want to become a great coach, who can build deep bonds quickly for greater self-awareness and create breakthrough coaching moments on a consistent basis, I need first to unlearn and then relearn 2 very basic skills first: Listening and questioning.
I must admit, my first deep coaching moment didn’t come easily. To listen well and question well is easier said than done.
When I finally got there, it felt like a miracle. I’ve seen clients blossom, tapping into their true potential, grow their self-esteem as they were seeing themselves for whom they really are.
Because they were not only listened to, but they were heard.
And they were not told what to do, but they were guided.
At this point I’ve asked myself the question:
What if these miracle coaching moments were not limited only to coaching sessions? Reserved to my clients and peers? What if I would use these newly learned skills with my family and close friends?
What if I would ask questions to my children with the same curiosity, as I am asking my clients when I see that they are upset. Would that help me to uncover the root of their frustration faster? Would I be able to manage their tantrums better? Would it help me find out what they are really afraid of when they do not want to try something new?
What if I would listen to my husband with the same attentiveness I am listening to a client? How would that make him feel? Would our bond grow stronger? Would he feel more loved? How would that impact our relationship?
And when my good friend asks for advice, whether she should change jobs in the 2nd trimester of her pregnancy or not, what if instead of sharing my personal opinion and giving my best advice, I would help her find out what’s best for her and her family. Would that be helpful for her?
From that day onwards, magical coaching moments began to appear in the most unexpected situations.
In the morning, when we were debating which pair of shoes to pick for jungle school.
Sitting in a traffic jam, driving home from an event, discussing why one of the innocent jokes felt so particularly hurtful.
And on that Sunday afternoon, when we were talking about whether to apply or not for a residence pass in Malaysia.
But the moment I knew I am hooked on coaching forever, was when I found myself coaching a handyman working in my kitchen.
I couldn’t let him leave without successfully fixing my cabinet. 🙂
This was when I realized, that coaching for me became something much bigger than just a new career. It turned into an attitude, a way of life, and my life has turned into an endless coaching session.